In my calling as a Self-Love + Abundance Christian Coach, I see and talk to a lot of unhealed women. In 99% of these beauties lies the root of unforgiveness, but it’s not because they don’t know what it is. In fact, it’s often because we don’t know what forgiveness really looks like. Hence, why I think it’s important that we have a chat about this very subject, plus talk about why it matters.
What does forgiveness really look like?
With so many belief systems out there, we first need to examine what forgiveness is from a Christian perspective. Modeling after our great Messiah, we are told to forgive others whether they seek to make it right or not. We are also reminded that our forgiveness also hangs on us being forgiven by the Father. In a more practical sense, our ability to forgive others goes much deeper than the words or the act…
Forgiveness is uncovering the wrongdoing.
You know how easy it is to brush something under the rug. We’ve all done it. However, when it comes to us being mistreated in some way, this doesn’t help us forgive the person or ourselves any easier. Uncovering the wrongdoing doesn’t mean pointing the finger in the perpetrator’s face. On the contrary, it means coming to terms with the compromise confronting and clarifying the defense, and shining light on the consequences.
Forgiveness is making the commitment to forgive.
After having gone through the uncovering phase, it’s time to commit to actually forgiving the person (and yourself). This is where you make up your mind regardless if your feelings and emotions don’t line up. In time, they will. But it’s taking that first initial step to decide to walk in an attitude and spirit of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is changing your perspective of the wrongdoer.
As hard as this step may be, it’s very much necessary in order to have true forgiveness. Instead of allowing memories to replay and get your re-mad at the person, opt in for putting yourself in their shoes and praying for them. Over time, the goal is to change your feelings about the wrongdoer.
Forgiveness is finding meaning in your suffering.
Again, this is another stage that can often lead people to think, “God, why me?” But that’s just it, because you’ve had the experiences, you can now use it to help others. Your past and/or present is someone else’s future and what a wonderful testimony to share how you’ve made it through? Getting to this place may seem difficult, but it’s totally worth it.
Final Thoughts
As you work toward walking in forgiveness, remember that it’s a journey. It’s much like an onion peel, so take it one layer at a time. If you’re looking for guidance and support, I’d love to connect with you. I have a Facebook group dedicated to helping women walk in self-love and we’re learning to do just that, one day at a time. See you there!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1224867071017991/